Friday, 22 May 2015

10 steps forward 10 back

Poor mum will be doing a tango soon! This blog will be about grump mostly today.

As some of sprites readers will remember he was attacked by a dog walker leaving him with bad bruising and problems with being left. Well, after all my hard work with Bella to get her to a level where she walks beautifully for me, I'm back to square bloody one.

There is a man, living locally to us with an ABI and owns two dogs, two staffie type dogs crossed with something. They are nasty agressive badly controlled animals who he has no discipline over. The dogs go for other dogs when ever they see one and want to kill, not harm,kill
Bella and I were out on Wednesday (sprite was at home with hayfever), I took Bella on our normal route up and over 19 hills, the man crossed over in front us and walked up the hill I had to stop any way as Bella had decided to drop a load shall we say, so gave us space to let them get some way ahead. 

He STOPPED to speak to a street sweeper, dogs on choke leads. Bella and I kept walking towards him there was no way boo was going to go round (I am stubborn like that ). We got close and he started shouting abuse in my direction telling me to cross the road whilst hes trying to carrel his mutts with there choke chains lifting them off the floor to try and get control, by the throat. I kept walking ignoring him whilst attempting to regain some semblance of control and not breaking her jaw (she really can pull tight but I was being a bucking donkey ) , Boo actually walked well for the level abuse from both the dogs and man, he was calling me a b$£ch and a stupid C$%nt and I should get my fing dog under control , um yeah ok mate its not mine thats trying to kill another dog. 
Then to cap his ignorance, he stopped outside mis school, both dogs still brindling hackles up , heaven forbid a child should come out carrying food. 

I am seething because his dogs should be wearing muzzles, and be on appropriate harness's , and he should pick there crap up! 

Bella is now back to square one, constantly looking over her shoulder, jumping whilst out and is now not wanting to be walked near other dogs (although she handled and spaniel and a bishon frise with out a yip or grumble).
So now I am back to square one with lead training oh flipping joy!!! 
I'm sorry mum but they are horrible dogs and I thought they would hurt you, but I was good when I saw mi off on her trip today, I liked that :)

Thursday, 7 May 2015

We are a tag team!

Of epic stupidity!!
Hello people :) Tis I eclair! Sprite, Darling thats not right, but mum I like food so I should be called Eclair, ok I am not going to argue!

What has been happening since February, truth be told not much!

Bella von Grump and  I are now only being walked together because mum cannot control the level of stupidity we create on our own, I guess us going together means we are to busy annoying each other to annoy her unless von grump is doing harness bunny hops. Or tipping me over mid pee!

I hate the nose harness, I need to be able to jump and create mischief, it stops me doing this, plus if mum stops I dont and I ping back-which can hurt !

Your own fault Boo, you WILL learn lead etiquette if its the last thing I do!! Plus Meggy DOES NOT like you, so I would rather you didnt kill each other! 

BUT mummmmmmmmmm Sprites the one causing problems hes the one who ran into traffic, hes the one who whines when another dog goes past HES TROUBLE!And he pooped in the nettles yesterday which made you say so many bad words my eyes crossed!

See what I have to put up with?! Yes I am trouble but at least I walk nicely on my lead !

The weather up until Friday ish last week, hmmm Fry-day, was incredibly warm! So much so mum and dad have been doing lots and lots of jobs in the garden. The priority job was to re bella proof the garden, Von Grump likes to attempt the great escape nearly every day.
Dad bought home lots and lots of pallets, wooden thingys which apparently food can be delivered on but there was no morsels left when they reached the garden!
Dad, mum and little sis went about breaking the pallets up, that involved a lot of kennel time and yet more naughty words from dad as he hit himself not the pallet with the big hammer :) not once or twice but at least five times, grump usually got the blame, but then mum shouted at ME oh the indignity! I was only vocalising my displeasure at being in the kennel!
Dad had to dig holes to set posts in which meant making concrete, something hes not done before and to be honest should leave to the proffesionals! Any hoo the fence was built, and painted and bella hates it!!! But the dogs next door love it!
I can still see and hear them you know i aint deaf and blind-like you ! 
Now now bella behave, sprite has selective hearing and is only partially blind!!! 

Dad then went onto make planters, as little sis had been asked by school to make one to take in, over half term holidays (holidays?!they are no holidays for us!!!!!!!!). Only problem was dad liked his to much and kept them, so mum had to make another for mi. This is where mine and boos ability to get in the way really kicked in!! Boo, kept nicking bits of cut wood to play chase with, then i got in the way of the Dremmel and Claw hammer meaning mum had to stop and make sure i was ok, which then meant little sis meandered off with something else important, poor mum was chasing her tail (what is with that phrase, she dosn't have a tail to chase) by the end
And going grey!

Mums finished planter was the one to go to school and we see it every time we go past for our walk.

Sprite and Bellas daily walk includes socialising up the shops with people, von grump is becoming less stand offish with people and more ready to say hi like Sprite, although hoodies and hi-vis are still areas to work on, as is the pull to go into Greggs!The walk then takes us up into the woods (where the nettle incident took place) and down onto the hill, we then go left for an extended walk or right for home (depends on weather and the behaviour of the trouble makers!), if we go left we go past Amelia's school and the dogs are becoming as much part of the morning class routine as registration is normally. We then loop back onto treberth or if the dogs have been super duper well behaved we duck onto 19 hills :) for the return leg. 
Which is where we like to drag mum either into the reen or the ponds!!
You drag, I 'guide' mum, and those ponds are so mucky i only paddle, YOU bomb dive Sprite soaking both mum and I as you forget you are STILL wearing your lead!!! 
Although the woods may have to soon be cut out as sprite has developed hay fever, and the only thing i can think to trigger it is bluebells! he has been fine until they came into flower but now he looks so sorry for himself after a walk :/ 

I dont like this hay fever, my eyes are so itchy and puffy and my nose is like a tap!!

The last few days have been awfully windy, more windy than von grump after left over roast dinner....
We have had some branches come down into the garden oak ones the length of the kennel, and that much rain on sunday mum couldnt get into the kennel to actually pour the water off -the poles supporting it almost snapped, the creaking noise scared me and the mahoosive splash even more so, i only do water on my terms!Grump though got a soaking stupid moo didnt move quick enough.
It was bloody cold!!

Bella has also decided she is a cross breed she thinks shes part jack russell part Akita, so mum calls her a Jackita, shes dug successfully under the shed in search of a ball Thats been there at least three years! and after rats, me I just take the fruits of her labour and run away with them.
Which then incurs the wrath of von grump and you wonder why she attacks you with such passionate venom dude? And why YOU get timed out NOT her
Nah na nah na nah!
But Mummmm it was her who moved that spacer block to by the patio door which you tripped and sprained your ankle on!
OI! you where as much part of that escapade as me, right thats it!
Now now you two behave or no left overs!!! You see what I have to live with dearest reader???? 
Children! the old saying is true never work with children or animals!!!

Monday, 9 February 2015

Im a VERY naughty boy!

Been a few weeks so I thought I would stop in as I have been exceptionally naughty !

I had an upset tummy last week but it only lasted 24 hours mind then I gave it to boo! Mwah ha ha ha hit her worse than me ! But mum spoilt my tummy bug evilness by giving boo one of my blankets because she was shaking badly

And I promptly destroyed it na na na na!

I have a very very naughty head at the moment mummy is walking bella von grump and I together to save time but I hate it so much I cause as much mischief as possible, running off not listening and winding boo up, but she got her own back much to my horror and mums.
Mum bent down to pick up poop, bella pulled mummy, mummy had to let go or fall in the poo, next thing bella has smacked me down in a huge puddle :( , I tried to get her to disappear down the field but no such luck she heard mummy was upset so went back to her.

Sprite, I was FUMING she did it, and very worried she would pelt for freedom but she-unlike you at present are doing as she is told!

Mi had her birthday recently and she had cake and she made sure we shared it! Prob not the most suitable for us but a treat once in a while wont harm us. 

But my most naughty occurrence was yesterday mummy and daddy went out with mi for the day to St Fagans , I went with them before it was fun. So you can guess I was not happy to be left behind with Von Grump.

I took advantage of a hole Bella had made when she was a puppy in the netting on the side of the kennel - 2ft up! I worked away at it till it was big enough for my fat backside to get through. Then I had the run of the garden all day. The family get home and mum goes spare because I was by the gate to greet them! 
What ? I am a guard dog I have to greet you! 
Bella by this point had chewed through the her kennel gate in order to try and escape,  but had stayed inside miss goody four shoes! 

Mummy used the most colourful language I think any one has heard on this street in  a while using a particularly nasty word even daddy was shocked to hear her use. 
I was given plain boiled rice for tea bella got salami :(, mummy was so angry as was daddy because they had so much to do as daddy is away for few days and they had to finalise his kit and make sure everything was sorted. 

Today I have been sat in my kennel whilst boo has had the run on the garden whilst mummy did the repairs to her kennel.

Nothing simple Sprite! one new upright in Bellas Kennels - metal wrapped wood new latch plate new metal fencing sweeping out splinters and generally making her room more comfy!Oh yeah and zip tying YOUR fence and securing a bracing panel onto your kennel!!!!!!!!!!!!
Safe to say im miffed dude!! TWO HOURS of MY morning spent rectifying your mess AGAIN!!!!

Sunday, 11 January 2015

I am not going to be ejumicated!!!

Hello friends, tis I sprite and Bella 

Christmas and my birthday have been and gone and its new year woo hoo!!

I didnt get very spoilt over christmas which is ok, I will come back to that in a moment.
Mi got a bike, we went to the park last week to try it out she loved it but I was a big baby - again - two doggies came to say Hello and I screamed! Mum thought I was being very silly and made no bones about telling me so!
Sprite, you really are a wuss!They were being friendly and saying hi! Not we are going to kill you!!

I was at home, you spoil sports I wanted to come chase the ducks!! 
You didnt miss much Madam von grump! I wasnt even allowed in the lake :( BUT I did escape into the reen :)
Dad was not very happy about that sprite, you stunk!Hence why you where shoved in the boot on the way home! 

Feeding the ducks 

And we are off!!

Sadly one of our neighbours died just after christmas, Joe - little Charlies dad he had not been well for a while :( Charlie has moved next door, which is nice I like Charlie, hes not so keen on me and he doesn't hesitate to tell me so he might be small but he has a big attitude! Bella is not sure on Charlie she seems a tad confussed by the new edition she just stares through the fence at him.

 But hes small I'm just not sure what he is! I like the look of him though although mums not impressed with my deliberate scaring him. 

Aunty Steph brought us round a bag of goodies, they where found at Joes it was very nice of her to think of us and they are very nice.
Tonight Mi tried to get me to read, I dont do reading but shes been quite ill, mum got very angry on Thursday when she found out that mi not only had a chest infection (missed on the monday I took her!) but she'd been on the wrong medicine :( shes on the mend though, she though is still screaming and squeaking at every little thing! My tail seems to be the source of much of the problems, something to do with it wacking her in the ears which are very sore :( my bad, but I dont know where its going when its wagging.

I did though allow mi to read to me about Africa and Europe very interesting in a round about fashion as food was mentioned mind, I am HUNGRY now mum, hint hint hint!
Uh no!

oh well worth a try, time for me to go back to bed, seeing as its now safe as Madam Von Grump has her own bed by the door she is leaving mine alone, and mine is now super duper comfy bolstered with cushions.

Monday, 15 December 2014

4 am trouble maker

Hello dear blog followers, my granddad reminded my mummy I have not blogged in a while so I am here, just well I am asleep, or pretending to be Amelia has her doctors kit out and if I am asleep she leaves me alone.

Sprite, if you believe that you really are silly, she will give you a diagnosis if you are asleep or awake, and growling at her does NOT work, she just laughs!

So dear people, it has been quite some time. My new fur sister Bella is settling in well even if someone did try and steal her (silly people, they would have soon bought her back!). I really am not sure on her if I'm asleep she wakes me up to nick my bed. Mum says sharing is caring and does move her occasionally but sometimes she lets her occupy my territory, Sprite, I do it so I can get some peace in the evening and more often then not YOU are upstairs with daddy or with mi so its not nicking it shes keeping it warm for you.

We took her up to the woods the other week, for the first time, joke was on her I was off my lead as soon as the car stopped and the door was opened, great fluffy pain had to stay on her lead I did nothing but wind her up!Running back and fourth to her and then jumping in deep muddy puddles where she could  not go despite her best efforts to drag mummy in. Daddy tried walking her but she would not behave and so was passed onto mummy, mummy takes no poop, even I know to behave.

Bella Von Grump has a naughty trick, she tries tripping people up as you go past her if the human has the audacity to ignore her, with me if I do not want to play, I get sat on and have to be rescued by mummy.

Thanks to Bella's constant ratting in the garden we both have fleas-the indignity of the rat rath, two baths three flea treatments, house being cleaned top to bottom and the kennels cleaned we still have them! I blame Bella well and truly! She kills rats and has stupidly thick fur, mums calling in the big guns apparently after pay day I dread to think what that is, I have images of a gun toting anti flea packing flea killing bio warfare.
No dearest boy just Advocate it kills fleas where YOU go saving me the hassle of yet again flea bombing the house!!

Its christmas time again, and mums working this year so hopefully better treats and food then last year-talk about meagre ! Dude you where fed watered and given gammon (much to my annoyance, and your stomachs later rebellion of said food) so be bloody greatful!
Hmmm, may be just maybe this year I might get some fantastic food on christmas day muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I am sure I over heard her say to dad she was getting two turkey joints this year one for humans one for dogs I'm sure I did, plus its my birthday just before christmas so you never know!!

Oh I nearly forgot in my food related brain fuzz, we have fish, not the eating kind unfortunatly the sit and get hypnotised kind. Sadly lost a lot to white spot something which mum said made them loose there heads and the two tiger barbs then played with the heads in a game of keepy uppy????
White Spot is a parasitic disease which can kill if left untreated, unfortunatly we also had an ill timed spike in water quality which wiped out a population of 32 cardinal and Neon tetra, which some of the other fish, namely the barbs and danio then ate leaving only the heads , which the barbs then used as play things! Gross but true.

Any way I am not too fussed as I cant see much, but Bella is fascinated stupid mutt ( are you getting a theme reader, someone has his nose out of joint) likes to sit and watch them for hours and enjoys there food, ewwww it smells disgusting and looks like some sort of health food yuch! No thanks!

oh dear fishy oh dear fishy if you leap from the tank i eat thee ......oooooo shiny tinsel 

Get off my blog you furball go back to eating shiny inappropriate things! Grrrr rar wooof!

Really, she has the rudeness to get mum to type about her on my blog the audacity of some moving floor rugs!

The christmas tree is up but mums had to put it up high out the way because Bella Von Grump likes to eat the tinsel and harass the Santa's

But shiny things normally mean food sprite, look at crisp packets, there one in the bin I can get it to show you wait there.................

Uh, how about no, last time you went in the bin Bella you ate cooked chicken bone cake wrappers, Amelias yoghurt frube wrappers (yoghurt tubes) and a whole host of items which meant I had to then follow you for three days with the poo shovel when you went out!!!!

There is so much for mum to type on this catch up I doubt she will remember it all she is bear with little brains, oh hang on a really funny moment with Von Grump, mum was using the sewing machine and bella only went to lick the needle as it was going up and down stoooooooopid ! Mum was doing the looser sign to Bella for the next hour :)
 Any way the title of this missive comes from my antics at around 4 am, this morning, Mi is not well so in with mum and dad as she soaked her bed on saturday night and being so cold the beds yet to dry. Shes on her 'nest' beside them and I happen to sleep at her feet. Last night mum and dad kicked me off the bed because I have worked out how, from the bottom of the bed to work my way UNDER the covers of a night and occupy as much bed as possible, what? I can be clever sometimes! Any way, I was megga miffed and cold, so, I helped my self to Amelia's blankets, surreptitiously spy style ninja stealing them to my 'nest' I just got greedy and took them all. Amelia is like a burglar alarm loud and all at once she wailed at mum I had nicked her blankets and she was cold. I got a smacked bum and sent to my corner with a flea in my ear :( I have tried to make up for it with Amelia today but shes not having it I even left her alone with her biscuits not even scrounging a morsel unlike Von Grump the hearth rug!

So reader, you see the theme, Sprite really isnt keen on Boo, but she is here to stay despite her stupidity and destructive capabilities she is a very good dog with Amelia and allows her to do as much as she can to her and not turn a hair. She is a kind gentle is slightly brain lacking soul who just needed stability and care to bring her on, even her grandparents, adams parents have said how well she is doing. 

Wednesday, 30 July 2014

I have a new sister!


Just over a week ago a new furry fluffy annoying pain in my ass sauntered through my door!!

I knew something was up because in the previous week my grandparents came down and put up a double kennel, yes I am being MADE to stay in a kennel with run attached. Not amused at that, but it as nice to see my nanny and gramps and they called me beautiful and special-even if gramps did nearly screw me to the floor a few times!

Any way she arrived on the Friday, and I hated her, she was awful to me :( Mummy had to separate us a lot because shes was wanting to take top dog position and was biting me loads! I would of handed it over just to get her to leave me the hell alone!

Daddy had to go to work so it was left to mummy to sort us out, and she has she left us to it and Bella is now top dog :( she has even taken over looking out for Mi.

She has though respected my cushion,my special place to sleep on in the evening or during the day as its been too hot for me!

Shes staying despite the fact she is incredibly naughty - she ate FOUR sausage rolls the other night mummy was really really angry!

Well she's here shes staying and I guess I have to lump it, I actually am quite liking her shes all
right in small non ear grabbing doses.